Confronting the Hard Thing: The Path to True Resilience

If there’s one truth in life, it’s that growth and comfort cannot coexist. To become stronger—physically or mentally—you must willingly face the hard things. Whether it’s pushing through a brutal workout, having a difficult conversation, or confronting the parts of yourself you’d rather ignore, these moments are where real resilience is forged. It’s not glamorous, and it’s rarely easy, but it’s necessary. Because on the other side of that discomfort is a stronger, more capable version of yourself.

Building resilience isn’t about avoiding difficulty but learning to face it head-on. And this isn’t something theoretical—it’s something I’ve lived. Years ago, after a car accident left me with chronic pain and a future that seemed unrecognisable, I had two choices: give in to the situation or confront it. It wasn’t a decision made in a single moment but through countless small battles. Every time I chose to show up—to do the rehab, to endure the pain, to reclaim my strength—I built resilience not just in my body, but in my mind. That experience taught me something invaluable: resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s built, one hard decision at a time.

This Principle Applies to Training too

The same principle applies to training. Every time you walk into the gym and push yourself past what’s comfortable, you’re building resilience. Every rep, every drop of sweat, every moment when your mind screams to stop but you keep going anyway—those are the moments that define you. It’s not the PRs or the perfectly executed sets that matter most; it’s the struggle. The missed lifts, the failed attempts, and the sessions where nothing seems to go right—those are where you grow. Resilience isn’t about never failing, it’s about showing up again after you do.

Marcus Aurelius, in Meditations, reminds us of this truth: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” The hard things we face are rarely within our control. Injuries, setbacks, or the unpredictable twists of life will always be there. But how we respond to them—that’s where our power lies. Choosing to confront the hard thing, to lean into the discomfort rather than avoid it, is how we take ownership of our growth.

Physical & Mental Resilience are Deeply Connected

Physical resilience and psychological resilience are deeply connected. What you do in one arena inevitably impacts the other. When you push through a grueling training session, you’re not just building muscle—you’re teaching your mind to endure. You’re proving to yourself that you can do hard things, that discomfort isn’t a reason to stop but a signal that you’re growing. Over time, this spills into every area of life. You find yourself handling stress better, facing challenges with more composure, and making decisions from a place of strength rather than fear.

In bodybuilding, this connection is particularly clear. Preparing for a competition is one of the hardest things you can do—not because of the physical demands alone, but because of the mental toll it takes. There’s a point in every prep where the novelty wears off, and all you’re left with is discipline. Your body is tired, your mind is questioning why you started, and the sacrifices you’ve made start to weigh on you. But if you push through that moment, you discover something profound: the resilience you’ve built in your body becomes a reflection of the resilience you’ve built in your mind.

Hard Things Don't Get Easier

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that hard things don’t get easier—you just get stronger. When I first started prepping for my first competition, the sheer amount of effort required felt overwhelming. Every decision mattered—what I ate, how I trained, how I recovered. At times, it felt like too much. But with every small victory, every day I stuck to the plan, I built confidence. By the time I stepped onto that stage, I wasn’t just a transformed version of myself physically—I had become someone who could endure, who could commit, who could finish what they started.

Seneca once wrote, “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” This is the essence of resilience. The hard things we face are not obstacles—they’re tools. They are the resistance that strengthens us, the challenges that force us to adapt and grow. Without them, we stagnate. It’s tempting to wish for an easy life, to avoid the discomfort of failure or struggle. But an easy life doesn’t create strength. It doesn’t prepare you for the inevitable difficulties that come your way. Only by confronting the hard things can you build the resilience needed to thrive.

Don't Assume Those Further Along Have Always Had It...

It’s easy to look at someone further along their journey and assume they’ve always had it together. But what you don’t see are the battles they’ve fought to get there. The late nights, the setbacks, the doubts—they’re all part of the process. No one reaches a high level of performance without first walking through the fire. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t isn’t talent or luck—it’s the willingness to keep going when things get hard.

The gym is a perfect metaphor for this. When you step under a heavy barbell, there’s a moment of doubt—a split second where your mind wonders if you can handle it. But the only way to find out is to lift. It’s the same in life. The challenges we face often feel overwhelming at first. They test our limits, force us to confront our fears, and demand more from us than we think we’re capable of giving. But when you lean into them, when you refuse to back down, you discover that you’re far stronger than you imagined.

The Pursuit of High Performance

For those who are part of Matter Athletica’s community, this mindset is everything. The pursuit of high performance isn’t about avoiding pain or discomfort—it’s about embracing it. It’s about choosing to do the hard thing, not because it’s easy or enjoyable, but because it’s what makes you better. Whether it’s sticking to a nutrition plan, committing to a challenging training program, or confronting a personal weakness, every decision to face the hard thing is a step toward resilience.

There’s a Stoic practice called premeditatio malorum, or “the premeditation of evils.” It’s the act of visualizing the worst-case scenario so that when difficulties arise, you’re prepared to face them. In many ways, training is a physical version of this practice. You deliberately put yourself in discomfort, you face resistance, and you push through it. Over time, this becomes second nature. You don’t shy away from hard things—you seek them out, knowing they’re what shape you into the person you’re meant to be.

The Hard Things in Life are Rarely the Ones we Choose

The hard things in life are rarely the ones we choose. They often come unexpectedly, leaving us feeling unprepared and vulnerable. But when you’ve trained yourself to confront challenges head-on, you realize you’re never truly unprepared. The resilience you’ve built in the gym, the mental toughness you’ve cultivated through discipline, and the strength you’ve gained by doing the hard thing—these are the tools that carry you through.

So, when the next challenge comes—whether it’s a physical test, a mental struggle, or a life-changing decision—don’t shy away from it. Lean into it. Let it test you. Let it push you beyond what you thought you could handle. Because on the other side of that struggle is growth. And in that growth lies resilience.

It’s not about being fearless or invincible. It’s about knowing that no matter what comes your way, you have the strength to face it. That strength isn’t given—it’s earned. It’s built in the gym, in the small, unglamorous moments when you choose to keep going. It’s built in life, in the times when you stand firm in the face of adversity. And it’s built in your mind, every time you confront the hard thing and come out stronger on the other side.